Between “you” and”me”

Sex is not really a complicated thing, but culture may make it difficult to talk about. However, as a Filipino woman, society expects me not to talk about it since nakakahiya siya.  I honestly have no problem talking about sex, especially from a biological standpoint. But as from the lessons, anything with the word “sex” is considered a “taboo”, even if you are not explicitly talking about sex itself.

I grew up in a family who holds these typical Filipino views regarding relationships and sex. I may align with some of these Filipino outlooks when it comes to romance and sex, however I do not condemn others’ opinion.

So I do understand where these terms related to relationships such as nahulog na rin ang loob (inner self “falls”), pakikiramdam (feeling each other’s feelings), and tamang edad (right age) because these may be used in conversations. Usually when the topic of love is brought up, a lot of my relatives usually say how I am young and beautiful, so it’s best to wait for the “right time” for the “right kind” of guy who will ask me out and eventually marry me.

At the same time, I understand if people go out of what is expected from them. If people want to have sex, they can, although I would encourage them to do it safely. I do admit that Philippines has a rather conservative point of view and I myself have “broken” some rules set by my family.

In the past, instead of the man initiating everything, I was the one who told him first and eventually we did end up together. It was a secret relationship and I was kind of disturbed at the mention of where there was “aversion to PDA” due to fear of disclosure because I was in that position. My parents would not approve of this relationship at all since it was not of the “right time” and without me telling them.

I now really understand how much verbal communication is important in relationships. Not only between partners, but also families. Keeping it between “you” and “me” is rather difficult without the support of people so close to both of us, so it’s much better being honest with them. At the end of the lesson, it is mentioned that cisgendered people are privileged, since they do not have to “admit” that they are so. I am glad I have one less obstacle to worry about, but for anyone else who does: don’tworry, you’ll be able to overcome that.